Beat the Post-Holiday Blues

 

She wanted to slow the clock down-just for this day, just this one day-but it sped by, from dawn and the excitement of opening gifts, to the candlelight and the lavish meal David prepared and served on her best china.

Before she knew it, the house was quiet once more.

She wandered down to take a last look at the tree, to sit alone in the parlor with her coffee and her memories of the day, and all the Christmases before.

Black Rose

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Nenad Stojkovic from Srbija, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

Bring light back into your life after the holidays have passed

 

This weekend, the holidays are officially over. For many people, Wednesday was the last day of children being home from school, and Monday resumes the full regular workweek.

Today, though, instead of happily resettling into “normal” life and enjoying the weekend, you may be feeling some post-activity depression that so many descend into.

PSYCHOLOGY TODAY

Can Love Last a Lifetime?

He remembered the

clever child, the coltish adolescent, 

the irresistible bloom of the young woman. 

The bloom had blossomed 

seductively. 

And he could feel the pull that had always

 been between them.

Honest Illusions

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By Gardenermd - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, 
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=76491765

From Infatuation to a Lifelong Symphony

Can romantic love last or, by its very nature, does it have a best before date?

Psychology Today

This Is What Playfulness Does To Your Relationship

"You can work eight, twelve hours a day," Parks continued. 

"You can enjoy your job, be terrific at what you do, 

but you still need to throw a Frisbee now and again."

"Frisbee?" This brought on a baffled laugh that pleased him. 

The hands on his shoulders relaxed. "What are you talking about?"

''Fun, Brooke. A sense of the ridiculous, laziness, riding Ferris wheels. 

All those things that make working worthwhile."

She had the uncomfortable feeling she was being expertly 

led away from the subject at hand.

 "What does riding a Ferris wheel have to do with you and me making love?"

Rules Of The Game

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Peter Drier [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)]

I’ll be the first to admit, well, maybe not the first, but I’m admitting it anyway: 

it’s not that easy to be playful.

Even when I know that playfulness and fun bring more harmony, 

delight, surprises and loving kindness in my relationship. 

Even science confirm that playfulness makes the relationship more strong.

Jolanda Herc

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"Throw a few Frisbees with me, Brooke. Ride a

few waves. Let's see where it takes us."

Looking at him, she could feel her resistance melting. 

Before she could prevent it, her hand had lifted

from his shoulder to brush at the hair that fell over his forehead. 

"You make it sound so simple,"

she murmured.

"Not simple." He took her other hand and pressed his lips to the palm. 

"Even fun isn't always simple."

Rules Of The Game

Self-Soothing

He could hear the funeral tones of Mozart's Requiem

coming from the parlor.

If Miranda was playing that, he knew the trip hadn't gone well.

He found her curled up in a chair in front of the fire, bundled into 

her favored gray cashmere robe, sipping tea from their grandmother's

best china.

All of her comfort tools, he noted, neatly in place.

Homeport

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By Aman.the.dark - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, 
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=49293460

It might not be a concept we’re familiar with nor might we know what
sorts of things might soothe us, but at times when we feel particularly anxious
or distressed, self-soothing can be a useful part of our mental health toolkit.

blurt

Cries Every Girl Knows Way Too Well

A man who had three sisters knew all about women's tears. 

There were the slow, rather lovely ones that could slide down a female

cheek like small, liquid diamonds and reduce a man to begging. 

There were hot, angry ones that spurted out of a woman's eyes like

clear fire and induced a wise man to run for cover.

And there were those that were hidden so deep in the heart that 

when they broke loose and stormed free they were a deluge of pain

beyond any man's comfort.

So he let her be, let her curl into herself on the bottom step while those 

heart-born tears raged. He knew that the hurt that spawned

such a flood closed her off. All he could do was give her privacy, and wait.

Homeport

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By Fulvio Spada from Torino, Italy - Crying tulip, CC BY-SA 2.0,

 https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=40588066

The female gender, as a whole, is infamous for being overemotional, and for shedding tears when and where tears, quite frankly, need not be shed.

In fact, it seems as if nearly any single thing can trigger us, sending us into a downward emotional spiral (feminism, amiright?). Of course, not all ladies are like this; some women are stone cold walls of non-emotion, and some have their sh*t together. I envy both.

Elite Daily

“Does This Make Me Look Fat?”

"Well. Wow."

"Andrew, you're such a poet. Do I look fat in this?"

"There's never a correct answer to that question. Or if there is, 

no man has ever found it. Therefore..." He raised his glass in toast. 

"I abstain."

"Coward."

Homeport

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By Billie Grace Ward from New York, USA - Woman in a Red Dress, CC BY 2.0,

 https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=74145300

“Does This Make Me Look Fat?” The Best Way to Respond

Picture this.  You are shopping with a girlfriend.  She comes out of the dressing room, turns to you and says, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

Your first impulse might be to immediately say, "No,"  You cringe and feel backed into a corner.  It's a no-win situation.  Before you answer, think about this advice.  Consider what she is really asking.  Don't take this question literally.

Psychology Today

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“I don’t go shopping, tagging along

to haul bags or getting asked if some dress makes your ass look fat.”

“Take my word as gospel on this point. You’re the last person I’d want 

as a shopping

buddy. And my ass isn’t going to look fat in any dress. 

Write that down, etch it in your

memory.”

“I got it.”

The Perfect Hope

Rekindled romances are so intense

He wasn't the young man who had once loved her. Nor was she the same

woman. They were more patient now. They didn't tumble onto the bed,

but lowered slowly, knowing each moment was precious when so many had

been lost.

And yet, though they had changed, their bodies moved easily together.

When she reached for him the years seemed to vanish.

Public Secrets 

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By Виктория Злых - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=76837594

The psychology of why rekindled romances are so intense

Last month, the New York Times’ Modern Love column told the tale of two romantic relationships that ended and were then rekindled many years later. The author’s romance first ended when her boyfriend lost the piece of paper with her address and had no other way of contacting her. When they saw each other again after 20 years, she writes, “Our long-lost love was still there.”

QUARTZ

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It was a very subdued Rogan who left his grandmother's parlor and

swung by the gallery just past closing. He didn't want to believe he'd

seen what he knew he'd seen. Just as Maggie had once said, when a

couple is intimate, they throw off signals.

His grandmother, for God's sake, was flirting with Maggie's

moon-faced uncle from Galway.

Born in Fire

Living in Limbo

"Do you have something profound to say?" she asked Doug.

He walked over, sat down, leaning forward with his hands dangling between his knees. 

His gaze was sharp on her face. "All my life, as long as I can remember, you've been the ghost

 in the house. Doesn't matter which house, you were always there, just by not being there. 

Every holiday, every event, even ordinary days, the shadow of you darkened the edges. There were times, plenty of times, I hated you for that."

"Pretty inconsiderate of me to get myself snatched that way."

"If it weren't for you, everything would've been normal. My parents would still be together."

"Oh Christ." She said it on a sigh.

"If it weren't for you, everything I did growing up 

wouldn't have had that shadow at the edges. I wouldn't have seen the panic in my mother's

 eyes every time I was five minutes late getting home. I wouldn't have heard her 

crying at night, or wandering around the house like she was looking for 

something that wasn't there."

Birthright 

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By Sheba_Also 43,000 photos - 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/shebalso/20984381884/, CC BY-SA 2.0, 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=72977824

What it really feels like when a loved one goes missing

The majority of missing people return fairly quickly, but around 1% don’t. Their cases remain open for a year of more – and some for much longer. In the meantime, their friends and relatives must live with the uncertainty and hope of finding what happended to their loved ones, sometimes for many years.

The Conversation

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The fabric of their lives woven over the past twenty-five years had been torn. 

Their routines of home and work and family shattered.

Their world became the hospital, the being there, 

the going to and from, the constant juggling on snatches of 

sleep and rushed meals between. The demands of work, the people 

and animals depending on them, the low simmer of worry for Cora.

If Alice’s return created such tears and breakage, Bodine thought, 

how much had her careless departure caused so long ago?

Come Sundown

How Crochet and Knitting Help the Brain

With one ear cocked toward Phoebe’s room, 

Essie carefully folded the white-on-white

bedspread with its stylized pattern of lovebirds. 

The intricate stitching had kept her mind

calm, as it tended to. She often thought that

being productive-and creative with it, if she

could brag a bit-held a firm rein on her mind 

and refused to allow it to wander into those

places where panic waited. It was good work, she could think that, 

and the bride who

received it as a wedding gift would have 

something unique and special, something that

could be passed on for generations. 

She arranged the dark silver tissue. 

Even that, the

fussing with the finished product, 

the meticulous packaging of it,

 helped keep her hands

busy and her mind steady.

High Noon

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By flora - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1475589

I am a nurse and lifelong knitter with a calling to bring my best self in service to others.

My background in neuro-developmental pediatrics and experience working with children and adults with brain injury, spinal cord injury, strokes, and neurological disorders, led to a fascination with neuroplasticity and the ability of the brain to “rewire” itself.

Because the practice of knitting/crochet is so helpful in dealing with anxiety, the ARC was the first organization I approached, and they, and you, were interested! I’m very excited for this opportunity to teach these skills as a tool to quiet the mind, mend the brain, and soothe the soul.

ARC

ANXIETY RESOURCE CENTER

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“Who thought of bringing her mother ’s crocheting in?”

“Bo did.”

“Well, it’s excellent therapy for both of them. 

Cora’s teaching Alice to crochet, and they’re

spending time quietly that way. It’s good for both of them. 

It’s going to take time, Maureen. I wish I could tell you how much time.”

Come Sundown

Life After Sexual Assault

"So I didn't say anything, because there was nothing to say and no one to say it to. He raped me twice more over the next month, before I got the nerve to run away again. Of course, they caught me. Maybe I'd wanted them to that time. I stayed in the home until I was eighteen. And when I got out, I knew no one was ever going to have that kind of control over me again. No one was ever going to make me feel like I was nothing ever again."

Unsure what to do, Colt reached up tentatively to brush a tear from her cheek. "You made your life into something, Althea."

"I made it into mine." She let out a breath, then briskly rubbed the tears from her cheeks. "I don't like to dwell on before, Colt."

"But it's there."

"It's there," she agreed. "Trying to make it go away only brings it closer to the surface. I learned that, too. Once you accept it's simply a part of what makes you what you are, it doesn't become as vital. It didn't make me hate men, it didn't make me hate myself. It did make me understand what it is to be a victim."

Nightshade 

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By Jason clendenen - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=76284275

What It's Like to Reclaim Your Sex Life After Sexual Assault

That focus on a better future, many survivors say, is part of what helps them form bonds with potential partners with whom they can have healthy relationships—and repair their relationships with themselves. “There is hope,” says Lindsay. “The physical pain, the emotional pain—all that stuff is passing clouds. Joy is the sky. It’s always there.”

YAHOO!

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He plunged his hand into her hair, got a good grip to jerk her face up to his. “Pay up,” he

demanded, then closed his mouth over hers.

There it was, she thought, outrageously grateful. There was the instant thrill, the response, 

the need. It had taken nothing from her. His body moved wet and hard 

against hers, his mouth took from hers, and there was nothing, nothing but pleasure.

“Touch me.” She demanded it, using her teeth, her nails. Nothing fragile here, 

nothing damaged or in need of tending. Touch me, she thought, take me. 

Make me feel utterly, utterly human.

The Pagan Stone

Could your child survive alone in the woods?

The kid had been out for a minimum of two hours, she thought. A lifetime for worried parents.

But toddlers didn’t have any real sense of time. Children of his age were very mobile, she mused, and didn’t always understand the concept of being lost. They wandered, distracted by sights and sounds, and had considerable endurance, so it might be hours of that wandering before Hugh tired out and realized he wanted his mother.

She watched a rabbit skitter away into the brush. Peck had too much dignity to do more than spare it a passing glance.

But a little boy? Fiona thought. One who loved his “Wubby,” who enjoyed animals? One his mother said was fascinated by the forest? Wouldn’t he want to try to catch it, probably hoping to play with it?

He’d try, wouldn’t he, to follow it? City boy, she thought, enchanted with the woods, the wildlife, the other of it all.

How could he resist?

The Search 

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There's a hierarchy of survival skills that are appropriate for children.

For any parent, the idea of your children wondering lost and alone in the wilderness is a terrifying one. A family in California had their worst fears come true on March 1, 2019.

Two sisters, ages 8 and 5, miraculously survived 44 hours alone in the woods in freezing temperatures. But it wasn't just luck that kept them safe.

mother nature network

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“Where'd you find him?” Trent asked Nathaniel quietly.

“Up on the cliffs, holed up in a crevice in the rocks.”

“Good God.” C.C. shuddered. “Did he spend the night up there?”

“Looked that way. I had this feeling, I can't explain it. And there he was.”

Megan's Mate

It's not all hearts and flowers

"I didn't forget you either."

"Didn't you?"

"Nope." He opened a drawer. "I didn't leave it out because I wasn't sure 
what the maid might make of it."

Lana stared as he pulled out a can of Boston baked beans. 
When he dropped it into her hand, grinned at her, her heart not only tripped, 
it fell with a splat.

"That just tears it. I'm done in by a can of beans." 
She pressed it against her heart and began to weep.

"Oh Jesus, Lana, don't cry. It was a joke."

Birthright 

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Gaelle Marcel gaellemm [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons

Women reveal the seemingly unromantic gestures that REALLY say 'I love you' - from cleaning up sick to practical presents

DailyMail

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"Then we will go down and face the chicken together."

"Really? You'd do that?"

"I'll also face the crab dip and the pasta salad with you. Such is the depth of my love, even at six o'clock in the morning."

Spock rose, yawned, stretched. 

"And apparently his. If we poison people, Cilla, we'll do it together."

"I feel better. I know when I'm being a maniac."

She walked to him, leaned down and kissed his sleepy mouth. 

"And I know when I'm lucky to have someone who'll stick with me through it, right down to the crab dip."

Tribute

Want to live longer? Have a blazing row

“And I'll remind you of the night you asked me to marry you, when you gave me

flowers and candlelight, then shouted at me and raged up and down the room,

making me love you even more.”

“If that's all it takes, you'll be delirious about me by the time I'm sixty.”

Suzanna's Surrender

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Brocken Inaglory [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) 

or CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)]

Couples who argue have a lower risk of ill health and dying prematurely, study finds

It might not seem like it at the time, but having a blazing row with your partner could be good for you.

Those who argue with one another have a lower risk of ill health and dying prematurely, scientists have found.

DailyMail




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She glanced around. "God! There must be something to throw."
"Don’t think about it," he advised. "Just grab the first thing and let it fly."
She snatched up her hairbrush, heaved it. It cracked solidly against the jewel-toned
shade of her bedside lamp. "Damn it! Damn it, that was Tiffany. Can’t I even have a
successful temper tantrum?"
"You should have thrown it at me." He grabbed her arms before she could go clean
up the mess she’d made.
"Just let me go."
"I’m not going to do that."
"I’m stupid." The fight went out of her. "All I’ve done is embarrass myself and break
a beautiful lamp shade. I should’ve taken a Xanax."
"Well, you didn’t, and I prefer fighting with a woman who’s not hazy on some
tranquilizer. These are real feelings, Tia, and you’ll have to deal with them. Whether
you want mine or not, you’ll have to deal with them."


Three Fates

Why do we use 'baby talk' with puppies?

“Oh, it’s a little puppy! She’s like a little toy.”

“He. This is Earl Grey. I hope you don’t mind, but I didn’t want to leave him home alone.”

“Oh, oh, he’s precious. Just precious.”

“Would you like to hold him?”

“I’d love it.” Miranda gathered the dog in her hands, immediately lapsed into lisping baby talk.

Lila just slanted a look toward Ash, and smiled. “Is there anywhere I could take him for a little walk outside?”

“Oh, of course! I’ll show you. Want to go for a walkie?” Miranda cooed, rubbing noses with Earl Grey, then giggling when he lapped his tiny tongue on her face.

The Collector

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By maxintosh / Max Talbot-Minkin - 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/maxtm/311263959/, CC BY 2.0, 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=5724965

You can't help it. You see that sweet little face and immediately begin to blabber in a sing-song voice, "Hello, sweetie pie! Who's a good boy?!"

We tend to talk to puppies as we do to babies, speaking slowly in a high-pitched voice. An international team of researchers recently looked at the science behind what they call "dog-directed speech" to find out why we do it and if our canine friends truly respond to it.

Mother Nature Network

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She cradled the pup, who immediately bathed her face as if they were reunited lovers. She caught the

faintest whiff of leather on his warm puppy breath.

“Aren’t you cute? Are you a pretty boy?”

“He’s a monster.” Simon snarled it. “An escape artist who doesn’t sleep. If I take my eye off him for two minutes, he eats something or breaks something or finds the most inappropriate place to relieve himself. I haven’t had a minute’s peace in three weeks.”

“Um-hmm.” She snuggled the pup.

The Search

Reasons Shopping Makes You Happy

“It’s a great dress.” Sighing, Lil let her head tip back. “I haven’t done

a shopping marathon like that in years. Literally years.”

“I know it wasn’t easy for you to take a full day away like this.

And now you’re planning a spa day. You’re a good friend.”

“She’d do the same for me. Plus, great dress, fabulous shoes,

and assorted other items I really had no need for.”

“It’s more fun when you don’t need them.”

“Too true.” Lil toyed with the new earrings she’d bought, and

—like her mother and the shoes—

had worn out of the store. “Why is that?”

“Buying what you need’s the result of hard work.

Buying what you don’t need’s the reward for hard work.

You work hard, honey. I’m glad you took the time away.”

Black Hills 

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By Cocktailmania - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=53853624

We all know the good feeling that goes along with walking out of a store with a new shade of lipstick or after ordering a killer pair of boots online. They call it retail therapy for a reason and more than one scientific study has backed up its effectiveness.

Career Girl Daily