Kids Totally Nailed Their Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

We have been good.

Zeke wanted to put in very good, but Zack, the conscience, rejected the idea.

All I Want for Christmas

_________________

Florida Memory [No restrictions or Public domain], 

via Wikimedia Commons

Spare a thought for Santa. He gets millions of letters a year to trawl through, with the vast majority of them boring and formulaic along the lines of “Dear Santa can I have an X-Box for Christmas please.”

However from time to time there are little nuggets of genius or hilarity that must surely make the jolly old guy crack a smile. Kids are known for speaking their mind, and are especially forthright when it comes to making requests (or demands), so we here at Bored Panda have decided to make a list of the funniest, frankest and most bizarre Santa Letters kids have ever sent.

Bored Panda

Éirinn go Brách

"I…" Brenna felt the color rush hot to her cheeks—the curse of a redhead. "Well, that's not…" 

Lies trembled on her tongue and simply refused to fall. "Oh, hell." She rubbed her uninjured hand over her face, then stopped abruptly, fingers spread around eyes that went suddenly wide and appalled. 

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, it shows?"

Tears of the Moon

__________________

__________________

She had time to squeal, barely, and to swerve into the hedgerows as a car barreled around the curve.

Brakes screamed, the car veered, and Maggie ended up bottom first in the blackthorn.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what kind of a blind, ignorant fool is it who tries to run down innocent people?"

Born in Fire